The Great Divergence

I have found myself at a certain place.  I’ve been here before but it was only in dreams.  I stand in the dirt of the road and there are many paths that lie before me.  The paths have many shapes.  Some appear to be winding like a serpent and others are straight as an arrow.  Yet, still there are wider paths and some that seem as if they are perhaps more narrow, if only by a bit.

There is also a single narrow path that seems to be calling to me.  The terrain of the narrow path is rocky, steep, and I sense many perils.  The journey along this path will be long, tiring, and laborious.  My hands are already shaking.  Whether they tremble from fear or eagerness, I honestly do not know.

Oh how I long for the other paths.  They seem to walk themselves.  They show the signs of having had many travelers.  Those paths are easy and I do love easy.  It is my natural inclination to do less work for more immediate profit.  But why then, does this solitary road seem to expand its influence in my mind.

I just want to scream with every shred of my existence.  “Where in the hell are the signs?”  “How do I know which way to go?”  The silence is painful and deafening.  Truthfully, those are not fair questions.  I know which way to go.  I have always known it.

I think everyone has always known which paths to take.  We just have the proclivity to ask questions in order that somehow we may receive an answer that we like better than the obvious one.  No wonder our questions so often go unanswered.  After all, it is much easier to believe that there are simply no signs, no answers, rather than there being answers we do not want to hear.  But what do I do?  Do I begin on the toilsome trail alone?

I have always had a penchant for soft paths, the ones that do not rub my feet raw.  But the call to the path is becoming irresistible and I find that my will is being overtaken.  Part of me rejoices at this while yet another part rages terribly.  My path lies before me and while it was not my beginning it will surely be my end.  I will face pain and persecution by taking my path.  But it is still a better path.

It is not better because it is longer or harder.  It is not better because I am the one walking it.  No, my path is better because of where it leads.  Not all paths lead to the same places.  When I look behind me, I cannot see any path that I may have taken to lead me to my current spot.  While there have been many divergences, none carry the magnitude of importance that this one embodies.

There are none that can make me walk this path.  There are none that can walk it for me.  Each step must be my own.  I don’t feel as if I am in anyway prepared but still, I must walk it.  An arduous journey awaits me but then again it is not about the path, but where it leads.